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The Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science

Audiobook (Includes supplementary content)
0 of 1 copy available
Wait time: About 4 weeks
0 of 1 copy available
Wait time: About 4 weeks
From beloved Saturday Night Live alum Kate McKinnon comes a madcap new adventure about three sisters, a ravenous worm, and a mysterious mad scientist.
So, you want to be a young mad scientist. Congratulations! Admitting it is the first step. The second step is reading the (definitely true) tale of the Porch sisters...

Gertrude, Eugenia, and Dee-Dee Porch do not belong. They don't belong in the snooty town of Antiquarium, where all girls have to go to etiquette school and the only dog allowed is the bichon frise. They don't belong with their adoptive family, where all their cousins are named Lavinia and their Aunt has more brooches than books. And they certainly don't belong at Mrs. Wintermacher's etiquette school—they're far more interested in science. After getting kicked out of the last etiquette school that would take them, the girls expect to be sent away for good... until they receive a mysterious invitation to new school.

Suddenly the girls are under the tutelage of the infamous Millicent Quibb—a mad scientist with worms in her hair and oysters in her bathtub. At 231 Mysterium Way, the pizza is fatal, the bus is powered by Gerbils, and the Dean of Students is a hermit crab. Dangerous? Yes! More fun than they've ever had? Absolutely! But when the sisters are asked to save their town from an evil cabal of nefarious mad scientists, they must learn to embrace what has always made them stand out, and determine what side they're on—before it's too late!
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    • Publisher's Weekly

      July 15, 2024
      Actor McKinnon celebrates weirdness in this ludicrous and unpredictable female-centered romp, a series-starting debut in the tradition of Daniel Pinkwater and
      Dav Pilkey. Compassionate, slug-loving Gertrude, rock-enthusiast Eugenia, and brainiac Dee-Dee Porch do not feel as if they fit into the posh society of Antiquarium, Rhodechussetts, where they are kicked out of yet another etiquette school after an experiment with a flying bat harnessed into a “Bat Straightener” goes awry. The sisterly trio are soon taken in by the “infamous mad scientist” Millicent Quibb, who invites them to become her first students as they work together to combat a nefarious research association. Madcap misadventures ensue within a plot that’s loaded with self-aware asides and wry humor; an opening warning notes that “the situations contained in these books could cause: Instant death, Extremely instant death (bad), Semi-instant death (worse),” and more. Ink drawings by Cáceres give vivid life to the amusing absurdity of this over-the-top, 1911-set tale where Pastramibirds fly and monstrous sharp-toothed worms have hankerings for bichon frise. The cast cues as white. Ages 8–12.

    • Kirkus

      August 15, 2024
      Three young girls are tasked with saving their town from a vicious worm. This romp from actor McKinnon introduces the three Porch girls: Gertrude, age 12 and three-quarters, Eugenia, age 12 and one-eighth, and Dee-Dee, age 11. Cared for by Aunt Desdemona and Uncle Ansel (along with their seven cousins, who are all named Lavinia), they're forced to live in a ramshackle shed at the edge of the property. In a classic turn of events, the sisters are invited to a new school run by a certain Millicent Quibb. Under Quibb's eccentric tutelage, the trio learn that the nefarious Krenetics Research Association, hoping to release their founder, Talon Sharktūth, from his vault, has bred a Kyrgalops, a vicious stone- and puppy-chomping worm, which may destroy their entire town. McKinnon's middle-grade debut is grandiosely silly, reminiscent of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events in both its sesquipedalian language and tone and in relying heavily on its bespoke lexicon, verbal gymnastics, and cheeky footnotes to deliver jokes. Interspersed throughout are bits of visual interest--poems and songs, schematics, and bits of correspondence. Though the action rockets along at a Pixy Stix-fueled pace, many questions are left unanswered or unaddressed, making this series opener exposition heavy and a bit frustrating. Still, readers will ultimately be left hopeful that subsequent volumes will offer something meatier. The illustrations cue some diversity of skin tone among the characters. Fiercely feisty and unapologetically goofy. (map, afterword, appendices)(Adventure. 8-12)

      COPYRIGHT(2024) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • School Library Journal

      September 1, 2024

      Gr 3-5-From the mind of beloved comedian McKinnon comes a madcap tale of three orphan girls who just don't fit in their turn-of-the-century town. Antiquarium is a place where all the girls wear fancy Tafeteen dresses, own a fluffy bichon frise, attend etiquette school to learn how to sit properly, and receive a silver spoon for their 10th birthdays. The Porch sisters, meanwhile, would rather be crafting inventions, cracking geodes, and caring for bats and slugs. When they get kicked out of etiquette school and wind up in a mad science school instead, the unlikely heroines must work with infamous mad scientist Millicent Quibb to foil a plot involving a secret society and a giant, rock-eating worm. McKinnon's tale is a wild ride full of footnotes, asides, and arbitrary tidbits that are never revisited, but her unique voice carries through all the while. The narrator, one G. Edwina Candlestank, is at turns conversational, dramatic, and flippant, but always engaging. Readers will also get a kick out of Millicent's strange inventions, from the Gerbilcar to the guinea pig massage chair to the Flycycle, a flying motorcycle fashioned after a housefly. VERDICT Hand this to any young student (and sci-fi fan) trying to find their place in their community.-Lindsay Loup

      Copyright 2024 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

    • Booklist

      November 20, 2024
      Grades 4-6 Dishing up a Gothic caper with a twist of Lemony Snicket, celebrity author McKinnon--writing as "Dr. G. Edwina Candlestank," an omniscient narrator much given to arch side comments and footnotes--pits three young orphans against both a secret society of evildoers and a set of disdainful caregivers eager to ship the trio off to a sinister finishing school in Austria. Fortunately, Gertrude, Eugenia, and Dee-Dee Porch bring redoubtable individual spirits and abilities to the fray. They also acquire a sturdy, if scatterbrained, ally in Millicent Quibb, a mysterious schoolmistress who introduces them to numerous life-changing wonders, including pizza. She kicks off their tutelage in mad science by leading desperate and, at best, only partially successful efforts to prevent a kyrgalops (a giant, dog-eating worm) from consuming all the bichon frises in town and the nefarious Krenetics Research Association from resurrecting its archfiend former head, Talon Sharktūth. Caceres sprinkles the generously spaced pages with Tim Burtonesque spot art and glimpses of the sisters and various monsters. A "Silly Sally," as one character puts it, from end to end.

      COPYRIGHT(2024) Booklist, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • AudioFile Magazine
      This audio adaptation of a cross between a Lemony Snicket story and an Enid Blyton story makes for an engrossing middle-grade adventure. Comedian and author Kate McKinnon shines at voicing the three Porch sisters as they end up in mad scientist Millicent Squibb's etiquette school after having been expelled from all alternatives in Antiquarium, where attendance in etiquette school is mandatory. The girls learn their help is needed to deal with a group of evil mad scientists, and they end up under Millicent's tutelage. Lynne seamlessly portrays characters fighting on both sides of the battle. The production embraces listeners by addressing them directly and providing a pdf of illustrations from the book. The story will have listeners eager to hear the sisters' next escapade. E.J.F. © AudioFile 2024, Portland, Maine

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